Was not expecting that!

So I don't know how many times it takes to realize this really is something I struggle with but for some reason when I made this commitment I was casually thinking, "I know it will be hard" but also thinking, "it wont be that hard" and then in real life it really is hard! And I don't know why but every time I commit to something it feels like everything starts working against me so I wont accomplish my goals. This morning I went to the fridge to find fruits and greens to make a smoothie only to find out most of our produce went bad over Thanksgiving break. "Ok..." I thought, "I will just skip breakfast for now and after I buy groceries I can eat." So I proceeded to get my children ready and off to school for the day and then go to the rec-center to get a nice workout in and release some endorphins which makes a huge difference for my moods! Well THAT DID NOT work out AT ALL. Remington decided to disturb the peace and make things extremely difficult, I tried twice to leave him in the childcare but he literally made everyone uncomfortable screaming and throwing things and I wasn't just going to leave him and let them deal with it (I could barely deal with it and I am his mother!) I was so frustrated. I felt defeated by a 3 year old. I did not get my workout in today. By the time we were done grocery shopping and eating lunch it was getting late. With Christmas season beginning working out would have to wait so we put up the tree and some decorations and now the day is coming to a close. What can I say I have a picture perfect plan in my head about how to transform my body and my relationships and my environment and my life but there seems to be other plans. At the end of this day I know a few things... I am thankful for everyday I have been blessed with no matter how challenging, I am not giving up and I have a lot even if it isn't how I picture it could or should be. Also I am striving to learn to allow myself to be human. I have always feared making mistakes and not getting it right the first time every time which is pretty silly and I hope and pray I can learn to do this out of love and not fear because I know that if I only accomplish one goal in life I would want it to be love! Love is the most important and if I accomplish nothing else in life that's ok!